July 2019

Bismillahirahmanirahim 

Greetings. How have you been? I hope all my dear reader is in the best condition inshaAllah. As the title said, July 2019, it was exactly two month ago. When all about my life change. I never have ever imagine for such blessing to be given but I believe when Allah want to give it, He will give it at the right time. The peak of my stress, anxiety, fatigue, you name it overwhelmed me. I want to cry but I can't, to be exact it won't come out. Reason is unknown or perhaps all is helping me going through it. Since mama flight home on 29.6.2019, I was counting days to my viva date which was set to be on the 3rd of July 2019. An important date that will decide and judge my thesis that took years to complete. After a number of contemplation, depression, running away and dissapointment; I came to the finale. 

A day before the viva date, I went to the faculty to settle a few document that will be used for my viva. I was anxious for will I be able to complete the task and will I pass the  viva. At that moment, we as human, who did not know what the future holds will for sure be whispered by the devil with negative vibes. Although if we pray and be near to Allah, for we shall not take the whispered splurt seriously. Shall we take it as eargasm equally to music with no means. That night I did not sleep well as butterfly in my stomach make a fiesta to raise the worries I had for the next day session. 

The next day I woke up early, earlier than anyone in the house, eh correction no one is there at the house if I'm not mistaken. I get ready and leave my house at around 0730 with my adik Zharif who is very kind to assist me to the viva place. Throughout my way to the campus all I can do is pray and selawat for that act sooth my heart and emotion. I arrived early and met with my supervisor and juries which are so kind with their words. The viva took place around 2 hours and ended with announcement that I have passed with of course minor correction. SubhanaAllah Alhamdulillah Allahuakbar. I was at that time felt the released and happy for the success was for my family especially my mother, late father and kakak. I thought I could straight away go back after the viva ended but was asked by my supervisor to straight away do the correction and do the submission by that evening. That evening nothing fancy nor existing. I went back home, buy a whole roasted chicken, eat, pray and sleep. That is what it feels like alone abroad. 

Deep in my heart I knew my love ones are happy with my achievement and not to forget I am happy with myself. Self appreciation is important for I is me. Without me there will not be I. The rest of my days are pack with graduation submission and etc. Right before a day I fly back I was asked to attend English exam for Ibn Haldun University. I went there with exhausted mind with my best friend Afifi. We took the exam and alhamdulillah passed it with flying colours. Right on my birthday, I flew back home to where my heart is. With success and happy news I came back to my family. After years of struggling with alhamdulillah roller coaster ride in life I made it. My next chapter is about to start this month (September). Please pray for me as I have a number of plan to do and aim to achieved. 

Love yourself. 

Love your family. 

Believe in yourself. 

You will make it through. 

Never worries on what the future holds. 

Believe in the power of Allah and His plans. 

You will be great. 

Be kind.